And life gets in the way...
I'm hoping you will relate to this and I am not the only one. Too often, I am so busy preparing for the next big thing, that I forget to enjoy what I currently have. When I was single, I wanted to be married. When I was married without children, I wanted kids. When I had one kid, I wanted another (then had twins, be careful what you wish for). When I had one house, I wanted a bigger one. When I had one job, I wanted a new one. When I was one dress size, I wanted a smaller one. When the kids were small, I wanted older ones. When they were older, I wished they were small again. When I had one thing, I was always looking for the next, probably better, thing.
An author of a great book once talked about this. The idea that if we are always looking behind us, say when we are driving, we get off course. He suggests to look ahead. This is true. Your vehicle goes in the direction of your eyes. So if you look over your right shoulder, you begin to head to the right completely unintentionally. He suggests that you should always look ahead of you to stay on course, keeping your eyes on your own path. I agree completely and lived my life not focusing on the past, so much so that I lost sight of the present.
However, I submit, that while having a future focus is key to joy, I think also looking at where you are is equally important. Still, not focusing on the past, but not entirely the same thing. As I applied this principle to an extreme, I missed the present. I always perceived the next future thing as being better than the current thing, and I missed so much happiness along the journey. I missed enjoying single-hood, married life without kids, raising young children, a smaller house to clean, my smallest body size, etc.
I say it is both, and! Yes...don't focus on your past. If it was good, then enjoy the memories. If it was bad, let it go. Yes...focus on your future. It is the only thing you can control and create. But ALSO...embrace your PRESENT, for two main reasons. The main one, you don't know how many PRESENT moments you will have. We are not promised a tomorrow. The future you think you want, might be worse than what you have, so enjoy the one you got!
In the moments you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to intentionally and mindfully look at the positives instead. Those negatives, when you hang on to them, become the baggage that we carry to our future. This extra weight can get exhausting! Accept things as they are, even if they are not ideal in your mind, then let them go, not carry them to next stage in life. Next, focus on creating a new truth for your life so that you can make adjustments. Just don't live constantly in what you don't enjoy about your present situation or you will always strive for something you perceive as better and maybe miss out on the best part of your life. Am I making sense? Am I the only one?
This advice is born out of decades of a life spent chasing the next better thing. It is my intention to not be "preachy" or harsh, but to encourage even only one younger person to see that your present moment is really the only real thing you have. Don't let your life get in the way of missing what you have. Down the road, you may see that it was actually your best life and you wouldn't want to miss that!
This blog should also serve as an introduction to a ***NEW BLOG*** I am starting. So many new beginnings have happened to me recently and I am changing my writing focus just a bit to adjust the new truths. Please head over to my new "Creating a Scene" blog (. ....). Thank you for your support!
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