How God Saved Our Marriage

It kind of goes without saying...but I will say it anyway.  God is God.  He is all powerful.  He forms all things according to His perfect will.  At the time it was happening, I would not have thought, "the decisions I am making are God's way of moving me on the path to save my marriage", but in hindsight, I do believe they were.

What God has joined let no man
separate. Matthew 19:6

During the process of building our house, something else was building.  A wedge between my husband and I.  Pride was building, too.  In both of us.  We wanted things to go our own way and we were finding it increasingly more difficult to compromise.  The build was taking longer than expected and costing more than we wanted to spend.  (sound familiar?)  And, for the first time in our marriage the whispers of a particular word began to creep into my consciousness.  Divorce.  With both of us from broken homes, my husband and I had committed to making this marriage work.  "Divorce is never an option", we would say.  And at any given time I spoke those words, I meant it.  But, my desire to do the work to make my marriage last was weakening.  I could not bring myself to continue, I was tired, worn out, the house was taking everything out of me.  Now I can see, I was sacrificing my marriage on the altar of pride.  At the time, it was not so obvious.

One day I got an email from a dear friend, a sister in Christ, from the DC metro area in which we had recently lived.  She said she had bought passes to go to this marriage conference and the dates in her area were not working for her.  She offered to give them to me if we could find one.  I looked it up.  I found one, so she sent them to me.  I thought it would be nice to get away for a weekend, away from the house build, not necessarily with my husband.  However, as it was a Weekend to Remember Marriage Conference, I was obligated to take him with me.

The day came for us to leave.  It was a quiet drive to the hotel about 2 hours away.  We arrived and I was impressed with how nice the hotel was.  I put on my happy face, but I was hurting inside.  It had become clear exactly what I had gotten myself into. What if God was going to tell me that He wanted us to divorce.  That sounds crazy now, but at the time the thought seemed plausible and it terrified me.  I don't even remember what they were now, but during that first night, my husband made a couple of innocuous comments.  And I was so very quick to get angry, grab my unpacked suitcase and head for the door.  He managed to stop me each time and talk me out of leaving.  It was pretty clear we were in trouble.  I was doubtful that any conference was going to save us now.

That evening, we went to our first session.  Even then, I felt my heart begin to soften and the pressure of the wedge lessen.  The next day was a whirlwind of bible verses, prayer, and truth.  At lunch they asked us to write a letter to our spouse then read it to them.  We found a space on a grassy hill on the riverfront.
 The Holy Spirit found me there to.

Now, I won't speak for my husband, but only to my experience.  Nearly as soon as I began to think of what I would write, the wedge was removed and I became broken right there on that grassy slope.  I could hardly write for my shaking hand and the tears blurring my vision and falling to the paper.  God revealed to me in that moment exactly what a gift I had in that man who sat crying just a few feet from me.  He told me that my husband was not my enemy and that I had another "enemy" that put that d-word in my thoughts.  That His plan for our lives was that He would be glorified through our marriage and a godly legacy would be left to our three children.

I was so low that there was no way I could have gotten myself out of the pit I was in.  Only God can get the credit for lifting me out, us out.  My husband and I were restored.  We renewed our vows the next day.  June 1, 2008, is our new anniversary.  It represents the day God saved our marriage.  I am not saying that God will use the WTR marriage conference to save all marriages, I am only saying I believe that it is the path He chose to save ours.

Restored and renewed?  Yes!  Repair took some time, however.  We found that as we grew closer to God, we found ourselves growing closer to each other, just as He promised.  I thank God for my friend being sensitive to the nudge of the Holy Spirit to email me regarding those tickets.  He orchestrated it all.  Praise Him for that!